I Touch Myself


I was minding my  own business today when I heard this song.  It’s 25 years old so it just kind of came out of the blue but it reminded me of an incident in my youth.  And just so we’re clear, I did go dredge up the video on YouTube (here) so I could refresh myself on the lyrics.

(Muse:  Uh, I am sure your “refreshing” nothing to do with the fact that lead singer was a hot, big-breasted redhead that wore her bangs over her eyes just the way you like, right?)

Don’t be stupid.  That …. had everything to do with it.  Sadly, Chrissy Amphlett was claimed by cancer a few years ago and the world was robbed of her presence.  But back to the point.

Skip back to 1991.  I was visiting some relatives.  This song came on.  One of my relatives (who shall remain nameless) expressed disgust over the song.  I said, “What’s the problem?”

“Did you listen to the lyrics?”  My relative’s face expressed horror that I did not see the immediate issue.  “She’s a lesbian!”

I sat back on the couch, unsure exactly what to say.  The thoughts in my head were 1) the lyrics don’t indicate anything of the sort, and 2) who gives a crap if she is?  I started to say something but was interrupted by my parents entering the room.  In the name of family peace (or cowardice, if you prefer), I let it go.  I also plead the temerity of youth, since at that time, I always hesitated to stir shit up.

(Muse:  You certainly have no trouble now, do ya?)

I spent years honing my curmudgeon skills.  So anyway, why this random anecdote?

Hell if I know.  I just sat here thinking about it.  I wonder if my relative ever came to grips with the prison of their own ignorance and prejudice – and then I told myself that was impossible, since they lack the awareness to know they were in said prison.

Besides, calling someone a lesbian, as a way of insult … Meh.  I think that ship has sailed.  Accuse of them of being a Republican.  It’s probably more damning in these times.


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